


say that you're into me, let me know how it'll be (if you don't know, just say so)

by haruspexes



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Idiots in Love, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 06:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haruspexes/pseuds/haruspexes
Summary: Really, the wedding is the thing that sets it all off. Someone self-aware might say it started way before the wedding but Travis has always been a little suspicious about that whole know-thyself thing. So, it starts on an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday afternoon.***“Anyways, you know I’m the best wedding date you could get on such short notice,” Travis fires off. It’s a pretty weak chirp, but the chance to say something is just too good to pass up.“Yeah.” Nolan nods where Travis was half expecting him to argue.





	say that you're into me, let me know how it'll be (if you don't know, just say so)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [forcynics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forcynics/pseuds/forcynics) in the [PuckingRare2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/PuckingRare2019) collection. 



> For forcynics: Thank you for submitting such a fun prompt! I hope this story does it justice. 
> 
> Title from Hellogoodbye

Really, the wedding is the thing that sets it all off. Someone self-aware might say it started way before the wedding but Travis has always been a little suspicious about that whole know-thyself thing. So, it starts on an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday afternoon when Travis is sitting on the couch, half-assedly playing a game of Fortnite.

He gets killed but doesn’t bother starting a new game, since he can hear footsteps in the hallway. A few seconds later, Nolan lets himself in with a clatter. Travis doesn’t get off the couch, but he does lean over to watch him kicking off his shoes.

“I already ordered pizza and there’s Gatorade in the fridge if you want some,” Travis calls and gets a muffled “yeah” in return. He leans back into the couch but keeps watching Nolan while he turns into the kitchen.

Nolan reaches out to open the fridge door but stops short. The invitation to G’s wedding is tacked up on it, mostly so Travis doesn’t forget to send in his RSVP. The wedding isn’t until the summer, so he’s not really thinking about it; instead, he’s too busy mostly focused on the season and a little on trying not to freeze to death in the shitty Philadelphia winter.

“Did you get a plus one to the wedding?” asks Nolan, grabbing a Gatorade and closing the fridge again. He frowns at the invitation for one more second, then turns toward the living room.

“Nah. Claude said I could ask if there was someone special but I wasn’t going to. You?”

“Same here.” Nolan sinks into the couch. His knee bumps against Travis’s knee for a second as he settles in and Travis reaches behind him to grab the second controller.

“Anyways, you know I’m the best wedding date you could get on such short notice,” he fires off. It’s a pretty weak chirp, but the chance to say something is just too good to pass up.

“Yeah.” Nolan nods where Travis was half expecting him to argue. “But seriously, hang out at the wedding with me. Those things are always sort of boring but you’re fun.”

“Alright then, it’s a date,” says Travis. He clicks back to the start menu and starts setting up a two-player game.

“Okay, a date,” says Nolan, and his voice squeaks a little. _Weird_ , thinks Travis, and he opens his mouth to start giving Pats shit about sounding like an eighth-grader, but then the delivery guy rings the doorbell and his attention is pulled towards more important things.

***

The wedding date thing doesn’t ever come up again and Travis doesn’t think about it until he gets a text in May. He’s sitting on the couch at his parents’ house, not thinking about anything more serious than what he wants for lunch and his plans for the afternoon. When he checks his phone, the notification on the lockscreen surprises him a little.

“What are you wearing?” says the text, which isn’t a totally new experience for Travis, thank you very much. It’s from Nolan, which makes it kind of a weird question coming from his bro but whatever. He’s typing out a description of his shorts, including the contents of his pockets and the mystery stain from yesterday’s grill accident, when the second text comes in, “I mean, to the wedding.”

While he’s backspacing, a third text comes in: “We gotta match, since you’re my date and all.”

It’s a joke, or at least as close to a joke as Nolan gets most days, further deflated by the fact that it’s a text and not Pats sitting next to him, smiling sneakily and poking him in the side. It has to be a joke despite the fact that it’s not really that funny.

In his head, Travis can imagine Nolan saying it straight-faced, like he means it. He’s not sure why he’s thinking that way, of course it’s not a real date. It feels a little like warmth in his chest, to think that Patty could treat this wedding date thing like something more than another of the hundred dumb jokes Travis makes every day they’re together. Like if he took it seriously it would be taking their friendship seriously, maybe.

He focuses back in on the more immediate problem: Travis hasn’t actually thought at all about what he plans to wear to the wedding. He does a mental inventory of his suits and settles on one that fits decent and that he's pretty sure he remembered to drop off at the dry cleaners at the end of the season.

“Men in black, baby,” he texts back. “I’m gonna wear that one black suit with the skinny lapels. Just wear whatever, you’ll look good.”

Nolan texts him back a thumbs up emoji.

Fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes and it’s Nolan again, sending pictures of all the fish he’s caught since the summer started. That’s a pretty good sign the wedding conversation is over, and more importantly, Travis is not going to let Nolan get away with thinking he’s the better fisherman. He scrolls through his photos looking for the pics from his last trip to the lake and makes sure to send five or six of the most impressive shots. Then he plugs his phone in and wanders off to make lunch.

***

Travis arrives in town the day before the actual wedding. It’s a pretty place, with an imposing antique-looking building at the end of the driveway. People have been showing up since the morning, and the parking lot is starting to fill up. He recognizes a few of the cars but isn’t sure who Nolan’s getting a ride with. Everyone who’s actually involved with the wedding seems busy, but he’s just a guest so he wanders around for a bit.

Eventually, Travis gets bored of flipping through brochures for all the fancy spa treatments the hotel offers and shoots a text to Nolan. “Thinking about getting a fish pedicure so I can figure out what that actually is, plus kill some time.”

Nolan texts back almost instantly: “They’ll never let you within twenty feet of a spa. I just got here. Wanna meet out front?”

Ten minutes later, Travis is still thinking about how fish can be involved in a pedicure; the obvious answer is that your foot goes inside the fish but that seems like it would be a little gross for the type of people that normally go to spas. He’s trying to imagine a pretty girl dealing with fish guts when he’s startled a little by Nolan walking up. Summer looks good on him. He’s not nearly as scrawny-looking as he was at the end of the season, and is starting to have the beginnings of a tan.

Nolan collapses onto the bench next to Travis and it feels so familiar, like another afternoon on the couch playing video games. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this. They don’t really text over the summer, and even if they did, it’s not the same as hanging out in person.

They chat for a while, mostly about their summers, a little bit about plans for the fall. The sky is starting to turn dusty blue when Nolan catches him by the arm and says “Let’s go out for dinner, just me and you.”

His hand is warm and a little sweaty, like he might be nervous. Then again, it’s also early July, summer already settled in for the long haul. Probably Travis is just projecting and anyways, there’s no reason for Nolan to be nervous. Travis isn’t gonna say no, whatever the question, so long as it’s Nolan who’s asking.

“For sure. Where do you wanna go?” Travis swings an arm around Nolan’s shoulder. When Nolan pulls out his phone to google a nearby restaurant, Travis leans in, so close he can smell coconut sunscreen.

They end up picking a seafood place, after Nolan vetos steak and Travis says no to Italian. It’s almost too fancy for the two of them, with cozy tables for couples and honest-to-god candlelight. When they’re seated, Travis can’t help but laugh. He tries to hold it back for a bit, but he can feel the effort stretching his face. Nolan looks confused, one eyebrow lifting sky-high, and Travis gives in.

“It’s all romantic and shit: the kind of place that you go to the night before your own wedding, not someone else’s.” Travis laughs but Nolan looks a little weird. He’s not laughing along, and Travis feels like he’s got to work a little harder to get a smile out of him. 

“It’s like we’re on a real date,” he tries again. It’s unconvincing, even to him. Suddenly he can’t remember what’s so ridiculous about the idea of him and Nolan on a date.

“Yeah,” says Nolan, a little quiet and breathy, sitting not laughing. There’s a beat where neither of them says anything. Nolan shakes his hair out of his face, and it catches the light. Travis is struck by the precise lines of his face and suddenly, all in a rush, he feels so glad to be here with his best friend.

“If this is a date, are you buying me dinner?” says Nolan, looking right at him.

“If you want.” Travis doesn’t want to make another bad joke and ruin the mood, and he’s not confident in his ability to make a good one. So, he just tells the truth. Buying Nolan dinner doesn’t need to be a big deal, and of course it doesn’t actually make this into a date.

Nolan rolls his eyes but doesn’t bother arguing further. They open up their menus and start to flip through. Travis stretches out his legs under the table without thinking; it’s small and a little uncomfortable for two full-grown hockey players. His knees bump against Nolan’s and he startles and starts to pull back. Nolan waves a hand dismissively and stretches out his own legs right into Travis’s space. Obviously, Travis is not going to admit defeat, so he sprawls back out too and they end up with their knees pressed together under the table.

He can feel heat and pressure even through two layers of fabric, but it doesn’t feel weird. Actually, it’s more cozy than anything else, like it’s pleasant to be so close to another person. That’s…new. Strictly speaking, it’s not anything Travis has done before with his bros, but it is way more comfortable this way. He doesn’t usually take his bros to dinner at dimly-lit places with tiny tables either, so that can be excused.

Travis grabs the drink menu just to have something to do with his hands. There’s three and a half pages just of red wines and he’s not sure he read a single word in the ridiculous descriptions of “oaky notes” and “cherry undertones”. He feels like he’s been looking at the menu for ages when the waiter comes by. They order dinner and Travis gets a glass of wine just to justify the amount of time he spent staring, if not seeing. He thinks about trying to share some with Nolan, but there’s no way to get an extra glass without the waiter getting suspicious. Out of guilt, he does let Nolan steal French fries off his plate the entire time.

It’s not that Travis wants it to be a real date, but if it was, it would be one of the better dates he’s ever been on. Pats is the best, obviously, so of course it’s fun going to dinner with him. They order both coffee and dessert, because it’s the off-season and there’s no diet plan and just to have an excuse to stay longer and shoot the shit. It’s late, sky gone fully dark, before Travis pays the bill and they start walking back.

The two of them walk back to the hotel in silence. Travis can’t resist the urge to bump his shoulder into Nolan’s. Nolan doesn’t seem to mind; he stays close to Travis even when they aren’t touching.

Travis is so tired he feels as if he’s been emptied out. Not in the just-on-the-edge of pain way he feels after the game, but clean, like the sheet of a fresh ice just before the start of the new period. It feels like the moment when something’s going to happen and it’s up to him to make it good. The sun and the wine and Nolan’s knee pressing against his under the table must have done that to him. When Travis falls into bed, he’s asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow.

The next morning is the actual wedding and Travis takes a second to be ridiculously grateful that he and Nolan are not involved beyond having to show up and look good. It means he gets to sleep in until the sun is already up and dress slowly, half distracted by the Instagram stories playing on his phone. Nolan drops by with a cup of coffee in hand, which Travis takes gratefully. He’s already caffeinated and dressed, and he’s looking sharp. They’re both wearing black suits and similar shoes, and Travis makes a mental note to take a picture later to throw up on Instagram and maybe send to his mom.

They walk together to the room where the actual ceremony is being held and sit down in one of the middle rows. Travis can’t resist the urge to stick out his tongue at a group of their teammates, sitting on the other side of the aisle. One of them stands up to flip him off but sits back down quickly once the music starts and a hush falls over the room. 

Claude must have stepped out from the wings when Travis wasn’t paying attention because now he’s standing at the altar, next to the line of groomsmen. His whole face is lit up and Travis thinks he couldn’t possibly look any happier. Then the procession starts, and impossibly, he does. Travis hopes Claude gets to feel that way for the rest of his life. He’s a good guy and he deserves it. He bumps his knuckles against the back of Nolan’s hand, and Nolan mirrors the motion. The officiant starts talking, but Travis can’t hear much of anything because Nolan suddenly grabs his hand.

It’s nice, honestly. Nolan’s got big hands and his skin is soft. He’s stroking his thumb across Travis’s knuckles and it’s sending sparks up his entire spine. Travis is trying desperately to keep his face looking neutral instead of telegraphing his feelings to everyone in the room. At least everyone who’s not looking at the wedding, so maybe six people, max. Travis sneaks a look to the side but Nolan’s got his eyes fixed on the ceremony happening up front. He supposes in the middle of G’s wedding is not the right time to try to figure out what’s going on here,so he just tries to watch what’s happening up front.

The wedding is good. At least Travis assumes it was a good wedding; the procession was impressive, and everyone looked beautiful but by the end of the opening remarks, his focus had narrowed down to just his left hand. His left hand, which Nolan had held through the entire ceremony. That’s not the kind of thing a guy does by mistake, especially not Nolan, who’s always precise in his movements.

The music starts playing again for the wedding party to walk out, and people start standing to stretch and chat. Travis looks at Nolan again, and Nolan’s looking back this time.

“What’s with the…?” Travis says, but chickens out and shakes their joined hands instead of saying the word.

Nolan’s whole face goes pink, and he looks away again, but it works less well as a deflection technique when there’s nothing else going on. He says something, but it’s so quiet and monotone that Travis can’t figure out what it actually is. When Nolan tries to separate their hands, Travis just holds on. He didn’t want to make Nolan feel bad, especially not on a day like this.

“Honestly, I think handholding is in the wedding date job description,” Travis quips, which gets Nolan to look back at him, but he still doesn’t look quite right. Travis tries a new angle, “Pats, you really think I would have held your hand the entire ceremony if I didn’t like it?”

Nolan does smile at that, finally, and Travis is a little surprised at how relieved he feels. He loosens his grip again, but Nolan doesn’t pull away.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Nolan says, “Anyways, it’s definitely your responsibility as my wedding date, so quit complaining.” He’s smiling a little as he says it, so Travis knows not to take it personally.

Nolan does drop his hand then, and turns to leave the row of seats, but it doesn’t feel like a loss. Travis shakes his head, just to clear his mind, and then follows him out.

After the ceremony, there’s half an hour of people milling around on the front lawn and then the reception. Travis takes the chance to talk to a few of the guys that he hasn’t seen since the end of the season, swap stories about fishing and compare training plans for later on. It’s warm but not hot, and there’s a bit of a breeze, so standing around outside isn’t so bad, even in full suits.

Of course, he’s sitting right next to Nolan at the dinner, along with some of the other guys. Their table gets a little rowdy pretty fast, but that’s standard for the team, and anyways, they’re celebrating.

Travis gets drawn into a conversation with Provy about his cousin’s friend’s new dog and then obviously he has to look at pictures. One thing leads to another and he loses track of time until the dinner is served. Then, he turns his attention to eating and listening to the speeches being made up at the head table.

“Are we gonna dance?” asks Travis, halfway through the reception. The plates were all cleared a while ago, and their tablemates have scattered to the bar, the dance floor, or to catch up with friends.

“Nah. You’ll step on my toes and then I’ll have to kick your ass,” says Nolan lazily, leaning back in his chair.

“Not true! I’m graceful as fuck,” says Travis, maybe a little louder than the conversation actually calls for. In his defense, the DJ was playing Beyonce really loudly about 15 seconds ago, even if it’s quieter now. The music swells up again and it only takes seven seconds for Travis to recognize what it is. He jumps out of his chair. “Patty, we gotta dance! This is a bop.”

Nolan laughs, but does stand up and follow Travis onto the dance floor, so he’s going to mark this down as a win. They end up shouting the lyrics along with some drunk girls, and Travis is laughing even as he tries to stay on beat.

The song ends and another one starts; it’s slower and Travis thinks he must have heard it somewhere before, but he can’t quite place it. People are pulling their partners onto the dance floor and holding each other close. Nolan’s eyes are darting around the room like he doesn’t quite know where to look. Travis wants to make him laugh again or roll his eyes or something, just to get that weird look off his face.

“Can I have this dance?” he says with a grin, reaching a hand out to Nolan. The group of girls has splintered off, and the two of them are the only ones left.

‘I get to lead, since I’m taller,” says Nolan, but he grabs Travis’s hand and pulls him in. There’s a moment of blind panic when it seems like neither of them quite know where their hands should go. Travis sneaks a look at the couple next to them and tries to copy them, which feels like it works.

He ends up with his arms looped around Nolan’s neck, and Nolan’s hands on his waist. He’s still not entirely sure they’re doing it right, but at least it doesn’t seem to be leading straight to disaster. He can feel Nolan’s steady breath and the pressure of his hands. They’ve been closer than this before, but that was during cellies, with layers of padding to insulate them. Dancing shouldn’t be much different, but it’s not the same at all. He’s so aware of where Nolan is and where he isn’t, and Travis can’t think of why.

He’s been thinking a lot today and it hasn’t really been getting him anywhere. Travis takes a deep breath and lets Nolan lead him around the dancefloor, swaying a little to a half-remembered song.

The song changes again, to some oldie that neither of them have ever heard before. Travis lets Nolan guide him back towards the table, and they collapse into their chairs. A couple more of the guys swing by to talk for a while and a big group ends up dancing again once the DJ switches back to club music.

Sitting at the table, Travis is people-watching; most of the older relatives and parents with kids left a while ago, and even the young people who aren’t night owls or hard partiers are starting to filter out.

Nolan yawns and doesn’t even bother trying to hide it behind his hand. “You wanna get out of here? Maybe watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah. You wanna go out or just back to the hotel?” Travis isalready standing up, gathering up his jacket from the back of a chair when Nolan nods. He waits outside the door for Nolan to catch up, and grabs his hand again. This time, Travis laces their fingers together and then stops, giving Nolan a chance to pull away. He seemed to like it earlier, so Travis isn’t really expecting him to. It still feels a little like victory when Nolan starts walking without separating their hands.

They walk back to Nolan’s hotel room, holding hands the whole way. Nolan’s running his thumb over Travis’s knuckles and Travis can feel it in every nerve in his body. For possibly the first time in his entire life, Travis thinks that the quiet might be even better than Nolan’s weird rough laugh. He doesn’t make a joke. He doesn’t say anything, maybe because forming a complete sentence seems a little out of reach right now.

Nolan doesn’t let go of Travis’s hand until he has to so he can dig his key card of the pocket of his suit jacket. Even then, it doesn’t feel so bad because Nolan squeezes his hand before he unlaces their fingers. Nolan opens the door and they dump their jackets and ties on the chair in the corner.

Travis sits down on the edge of the bed and Nolan sits next to him, their knees bumping together again. It still feels just as good as it did at the restaurant, and something clicks in Travis’s head. He wanted it to be a date at the restaurant. He wants it to be a date now. Candlelit dinner and holding hands and slow dancing aren’t things you do with someone who’s just a friend. And it wasn’t just him. Nolan was into all of it too, so he must be into Travis. There’s only one way to find out. Travis leans in to kiss Nolan and Nolan pulls back. Not far, but enough that the meaning is clear.

“It’s not that I don’t want to…” Nolan’s cheeks are pink; his mouth is also very pink and Travis’s eyes catch on it. He’s startled a little when Nolan keeps talking. “It’s just that it would be serious, for me, and I don’t know if it would be for you.”

Travis has never felt more serious about anything in his life. He’s also going to die right here in this hotel room, no more than eight hours after the ceremony, if Nolan doesn’t touch him. That would be a pretty shit wedding present for Claude, who is a pretty cool dude, so Travis takes a deep breath and just starts talking.

“I can’t think of anyone else I would rather have as my wedding date. Even if we don’t kiss and you just wanna hold my hand. I think you’re it, for me.” The words tumble out of his mouth all in a rush, and Travis looks intently at Nolan.

“I already said I want to kiss you,” says Nolan, sounding a little miffed. “I’m just not going to do it and ruin everything if you don’t feel the same way.”

“Look, you’re my best friend and that’s never going to change. The one date we accidentally went on was awesome and I bet being your boyfriend would kick ass. Wanna find out?”

That seems to be enough, and Nolan surges up to kiss him. It’s the kind of kiss that should be at the end of movies, and it feels so good that it takes a second for Travis to remember he needs to kiss back. Then he does, and everything gets even better. Nolan slides a hand up into his hair to change the angle and suddenly Travis just wants to be touching every single possible inch of skin. They end up lying down on the bed, Travis propped up on his hands over Nolan. Nolan underneath him isn’t a new thing. They know each other’s bodies from wrestling matches and workouts and games. But this feels totally new, with Nolan reaching up to cup a hand around Travis’ jaw and pull him down into a kiss. He’s never done anything like this with a guy before, but Travis trusts Nolan. Plus, they’re smart guys, they’ll figure it out.

***

At the end of summer, a few days before the start of training camp, Travis rolls into Philly with seven suitcases, an awesome tan and an even better plan. He takes a taxi from the airport and drops all his stuff on the floor of his apartment. Unpacking is limited to trying to dig out a shirt that’s not gross from the plane or wrinkled from travel. Luckily, the one near the top is mostly undamaged so he can change and leave again quickly.

Travis walks to Nolan’s apartment, but doesn’t let himself in, even though he’s pretty sure Nolan’s left the door unlocked like he always does. This feels important, like he needs to do it right, so he knocks and stands perfectly still until the door swings open. Nolan is standing there in ugly sweatpants and with messy hair and Travis has never been happier to see anyone in his entire life.

Maybe he should have thought of something better to say but it’s too late now. Anyways, just saying whatever he was thinking didn’t work so bad last time, so he goes for it. 

“Are you free tonight? Or Friday? Or whenever? I just really want to take you on a date that we both know we’re on.”

Nolan leans in to kiss him on the mouth, quick and sweet. “Yeah, a real date,” he says, sounding quietly pleased. He takes Travis by the hand and leads him into the apartment, shutting the door behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first actual completed and published fic, so please be gentle.
> 
> All errors are mine alone; this is also not intended as a faithful description of real-life events.


End file.
